Say hello to my leetle friend

John and I love to quote movies and sometimes the results with a literal minded toddler are a bit unexpected.

John made some little pancakes for JJ. He brought them over to him saying "Say hello to my leetle pancakes!" ala Scarface.

JJ, without missing a beat, says in a high falsetto voice "Hello little pancakes!"

There's a fire drill in my head

On arriving at work this morning, JJ announced "There's a fire drill in my head."

Me "What?"

JJ "A fire drill. Inside my head."

Me "uh...do you mean you hear a ringing like the fire drill?"
JJ "Yeah, inside my head. "

Poor kid - sinus headaches suck! But I got to hand it to him - only JJ would think to describe it as a fire drill inside his head! :)

A substantial breakfast

JJ asked to have a cookie for breakfast. I said "No. you need something more substantial than that." He thought a minute and said "Ok mommy. 2 cookies."

What big lungs you have...

One of the little girls at daycare was looking at Zoe in her sundress. Pointing to the rolls of baby fat on her chest she says "Zoe has big lungs, just like her mommy!"
Now, I wonder how she knew I have big lungs....LOL!

Breakfast options

JJ when asked if he wants a cereal bar or yogurt for breakfast "No thanks, just ice cream.

You can pet her!

So, Zozo started daycare with her big brother yesterday. Sigh. Back to work for mommy. I was hanging out with them waiting for Daddy to pick us up, and watching the other little kids who are totally obsessed with the new baby (She's so tiny! She's like a little doll! Oh she's so sweet!) One of the little girls sees her mommy come in the door and yells "Mommy! Come see JJ's little sister! You can pet her if you want to!"

I about fell out of my chair laughing!

The funny things kids do

Ah, the joys of motherhood! I don't know why anyone would bother with a TV - toddlers are the best entertainment ever :) Here's a few of JJ's latest funny things:

• Before he nurses at night, he hauls a line up of toys into bed or the rocking chair and lets them "drink" milk first! Last night it was a purple bear, a fire engine, a taxi cab, and a spoon. After he's finished "sharing" he's ready to have some himself.
• Every time he pitches a fit for no reason other than not getting his way, he starts off wailing, but quickly moves to begging for a bobby pin. Yes, like a bobby pin for your hair. I have NO idea why. But if you give him one, it calms him down immediately and he's all lovey sweet and cuddly good boy again. It even works if he wakes up with a nightmare at night. Behold the magic bobby pin!

Madame Zaritska Reading

The day you deliver, outside will be misty. Your baby will arrive in the evening. After a labor lasting approximately 25 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 8 ounces, and will be 20-1/2 inches long. This child will have light amber eyes and curly black hair.

Got to love the predictions of the virtual clairvoyant, Madame Zaritska. I supposed she can be forgiven not realizing I'll be having a C-section or that the child will most definitely have blue eyes LOL!

Hats off!

Food glorious food!

Most people are unware that yogurt can also be used as a styling aid.

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

In this corner, wieghing in at a little over 18 pounds of wirey muscle we have JJ "the greased monkey" Baker.  And in this corner, wieghing in at, well she's not telling anyone what she's wieghing in at, but suffice it to say it's a lot more than 18 lbs, we have Mommy "I ain't taken no for an answer" Baker.  The stage is set and the diaper table is prepped...Let's get ready to rumble!

The first move is by JJ, taking a quick feint to his left before twisting in an amazing my-spine-is-made-of-rubber-bands move to elude Mommy's patented forearm diaper pin.  But Mommy is ready for him as she whips out a funny face to distract him.  Oh, she's good - that's a professional move right there.  But wait!  Yes...I think...yes, he's grabbed the diaper cream folks! Foreign object in the ring!!

Have I mentioned lately that someone's gotten a bit, um challenging to dress and diaper?

With a triumphant grin and cheese in his ear...

This is motherhood.  JJ squirms and wiggles and finally after fastening what must be the 700th snap on his onsie, I set him down.  On the way he snatches up a cranberry baby leg and with a triumphant, nearly toothless grin that says "ha ha!  see if I don't!" he's crab crawling off with, I now notice, a small piece of cheese nestled precariously in his ear.  

Yep, this is motherhood.

Add a Caption: Blueberries

Ladies, ladies, one at a time!  There's plenty o' JJ to go around ;)

The law of conservation does not apply to babies

It's true.  The law of conservation states that in a closed system, mass will be conserved.  It might be converted to a different form (like energy) but it doesn't magically disappear or appear.  This, however, does NOT pertain to babies. Examples:

Sleep Volume - a small baby, that fits comfortably in his tiny bassinet with room to spare will take up 5 times as much space when placed in a bed with his parents.  

Liquid Mass - regardless of how much liquid intake an infant has, his output - be it in the form of drool, pee, or spit up - will be easily twice what was consumed.  

I'm reasonably certain that babies some how tap into extradimensional spaces, perhaps via a worm hole.  It must be something we forget how to do as we get older ...

Caption that picture!!

How would you caption this picture?

Suggestions so far:

“What do you mean, ‘bring it over here’? It was hard enough to get this far. I can’t even walk yet, y’know.”

The headline reads -- The Colossus of Rhodes exhibition comes to the North Texas area.

“Run and play games…You amuse me my loyal subjects”

As the anesthesia wore off, JJ realized the pumpkin for feet transplant was bound to be his best genius scheme yet.

Witnesses were unclear what started the fracas. But a picture was snapped of one of the hooligans shouting and gesturing his defiance before the fruit hurling began.

Helped from the ground, JJ protested the “sucker punch”.

Things I didn't fully appreciate before I had a baby...

• Sleep
• Using the bathroom without an audience
• Sleep
• The magical wonderfulness of one-handed foods
• Did I mention sleep?
• Being dry
• Riding in the front seat of the car
• Eating meals simultaneously rather than serially with my husband
• Seeing my son smile and hearing him laugh

Baby Book Reviews

Children's books - ya gotta love 'em. Here's some reviews of a few of JJ's favorites:

That's Not My Dinosaur - a gripping tale of a mouse in search of his dinosaur. Using clever sensory detective work (too fuzzy, too rough, etc.), the protagonist eliminates one dinosaur after another.

Little Chick and Friends - a tour of barnyard animals. I originally supposed this review would be led by our cover character and star of the title, Little Chick. Unfortunately, he only makes an appearance on the cover, like so many celebrity "authored" books out today.

But Not the Hippopotamus - a timeless story outlining the inadvertent discrimination's felt by many in today's clique driven society. This story ends on a somewhat bittersweet note and may not be appropriate for very empathic children.

Alternate, detatched delivery system

Someone recently posted on the Babyfit message board about what to tell people when they ask if you are breast feeding when you are pumping and giving a bottle. First - what a bizarre thing that anyone would ask you that in the first place (she said she was getting the question from total strangers - how wierd is that?!?!). So, I suggested she tell them she's using an alternate detatched delivery system with original source material :)

OMG - something's EATING the baby

Talk about funny...
We have JJ in a bassinet next to the bed (highly convenient for BFing). When you're laying down you can't really see him over the side of the bassinet unless you prop up on one elbow. On a regular basis, he'll wake up and start flailing his arms and legs around making all sort of crazy grunts, groans, coos, etc. Well, all we can see is the occasional arm or legs moving spastically over the crib top with all these sounds! John turns to me in mock horror and says "Oh my God - what's EATING our baby?!?!?"
LOL!