SURPRISE!

I've been feeling really off lately - clumsily running into things, getting really snappish with John, horrible runny nose, feeling dizzy when I'm sitting for long period of time, constantly hot, sometimes nauseated....and I thought "allergies, sleep deprivation, period fixin' to start" Oh yeah - shouldn't my period have started like 4 days ago? So, just to be on the safe side, I took a pregnancy test. Given my symptoms, I should've known. It came back 2 lines - that's POSITIVE.

Oh my.

I mean, it's not like I don't know what causes this or that we weren't interested in having another. It's just that last time we had to try so hard and have "help" and all and I sort of thought it would be the same going forward. WRONG! I'm scared to death because I haven't been taking my prenatal vitamin like I should, I've had loads of coffee and tea, and I had a glass of wine last night to celebrate finishing my proposal for my chair. And here I am, in the middle of trying to schedule my proposal defense, with the beginnings of pregnancy brain, and not sure if I should be delighted or hysterical.

I think I will settle for cautiously optimistic.