Not fair...

Morning sickness - or rather, morning, noon, and night sickness - and pounding headaches. Granted, I was having this problem last week too, but last week I could blame it on the weather. Now, I've got another 9 months of this, potentially. Yikes! It is definitely going to be a test of wills finishing this dissertation. A toddler, morning sickness and data collection. Wow.

Poor JJ is starting to get so picky about his food too. And not in any predictable pattern either. One day broccoli is the rage. The next, he doesn't even want it on his plate. The power struggle around that is becoming interesting too. He's always game to try something, but once he decided he doesn't want it, he'll pick it up off the plate and drop it on the floor, one piece at a time. John and I have tried telling him "no" firmly, holding his hand to prevent him from doing it, and just plain removing the offending item and he just looks puzzled. Definitely not sure what we're trying to say. Makes me feel stupid - like if I were just a little smarter I could explain it to him. Oh well - maybe Mommy and Daddy will get smarter once we get some more sleep (insert maniacal laughter here).

Water water everywhere

Totally thirsty all the time and if I drink another glass of water I'll float away. Ack! We start week 20 tomorrow.

Definitely "popped"

Well, it's official - I can't zip up my pants any more. The baby bulge went from hardly a bump to "boom" - hello I'm a belly. Almost overnight, amazing! I need to go by maternity pants right away. Nothing fits that fit last week. What a weird thing!

17 weeks, Baby doc visit

More pictures and another thumbs up visit to the baby doc at 17 weeks.
Symptoms: Swollen hands and feet, uncomfortableness while sleeping (or rather, while tossing), occasionaly sharp pain in the left hip area.
Baby stats: heartbeat 144 bpm, 6 inches (give or take) long, and a big ham waving at the sonogram :)

Week 15, Cruisin'

Starting into week 15, which means 2nd trimester. Hooray! Risk of miscarriage at this point is much lower, but, as previous experience tells me, not impossible.

We've started letting people know, which is good because I'm starting to "show" - God bless the bellaband! I still have nausea occasionally and am hungry a bit more often. And it's exceptionally hard to sleep at night - muscle aches, need to urinate, and difficulty in getting comfortable - but I find that if I work out, that gets better.

Currently I'm renting FitMamma as a workout DVD. Not bad, but fairly repetitive - if you didn't work out much before you got pregnant, it'd probably be a good starting point. Even then, I'd recommend it as a rental, but not a purchase - you'll get bored. I like the Perfect Pregnancy workout better - it's more interesting and more challenging (especially good if you were working out before pregnancy). I should have regained my breath/endurance enough by next week to start using it again. I don't want to push too hard, but I also don't want to be a couch root vegetable!

Week 13, More Pictures and maybe gender...

We went in yesterday (13 weeks) for our first trimester screening. I spent the weekend before going in practically biting my fingers off I was so worried and nervous. So far everything looks great. The nuchal translucency measurement was good (2.1) and the ultrasound didn't show any structural issues at this point. We got to see little hands and little feet - the baby was bouncing around, rubbing it's little head and jumping a lot. It is an indescribable thrill to see this little person inside you who is part of you and a part from you at the same time (bonus: we didn't have to use the vaginal ultrsound - he was able to see everything with a regular belly ultrasound). Now, Dr. Albert, the ultrasound doc, has a reputation for being able to guess the gender of a baby very early on and has, believe it or not, NEVER BEEN WRONG. Pretty cool, eh? He was absoltely right for our first baby (the one that died during the miscarriage) being a boy. And he said that, while he couldn't be 100% sure, he guessed this one was a boy. He said he'd probably be able to confirm that when we come back at the 18th week for our subsequent test and scan.

Interesting piece of information - the AMA has changed it's recommendations as of this year on who should get screenings done to include everyone, not just women over 35 or those at risk for chromosonal issues. I found this very interesting (I couldn't find a link, but it was a fairly long announcement that I had to read and sign at the dr's office). Worth pondering the reasons behind that for a few minutes.

After the screening, we had our 13 week visit with my gynecologist, Dr. Paroski. She's the best. We talked to her about my symptoms (cramping, hands falling asleep, pain in my hips, excessive discharge) and were relieved to find out they were all normal. Whew! She said we'll schedule my C-section for week 38, so that means I need to pick a date in the first week of February. I'm thinking February 7th might be good since it's Chinese New Year. She did say I need to take it easy and not over do. So far the exercise I've been doing is fine, she just wants me to be cautious.

Now, my last day to take the progesterone was Sunday. Everything was hunky dorey when we got home and went to bed. Until...about 3am, I woke up and could not get back to sleep. I was so depresed, I just started crying. John woke up and held me and we talked about things. All I could think about was our first baby - I felt the grief of that loss hit me like it did when it happened, all fresh, raw, and hard. Finally, after a long time, we were able to get back to sleep. I decided to work from home today because I just couldn't bear to deal with other people. The whole idea of being around others was awful, repugnant, harrowing. And it's a good thing I did. Around 2pm, I started crying again, for no discernible reason, horrible, racking sobs. I IM'ed John to let him know (not expecting him to do anything, just an FYI so he can help me track these things) and he suggested it might be the progesterone crash. I had't thought of that, but it makes perfect sense. One of the contributors to post-partum depression is a sudden drop in progesterone levels - at least according to some sources. Seems the jury is still out on that one.

Week 10: Symptoms and thoughts

Week 10 - Occasional nausea, another migraine (sinus induced), continually runny nose.
Overall, not bad, except the nausea. It usually hits in the afternoon or evening. V. inconvenient. Morning would be much better because it would give me an excuse not to work out ;) Unfortunately, no such luck. Oh - and very tired all the time. Duh.
I took some Sudafed and Tylenol when I got my migraine because both were on this list I had for drugs that are ok. Then I read that maybe that's not ok.
Well, this is me trying not to worry about it, since, let's face it - can't do a thing about it now.
Sigh.

Week 7 and cruisin' along

Here we are at week 7 with no problems so far. The frequent urination is a bit of a pain (up and down all night), sore/tender breasts, and I keep getting a persistent pain, like a running cramp, in my side, but otherwise all is well.
I'm keeping my weight pretty steady right now which is good - since I was overweight before I got pregnant, it's important that I keep my weight gain under control for the health of the baby. I'm not dieting, just watching what I eat carefully: cereal and fruit for breakfast with a glass of milk, salad and soup for lunch (actually, I can only finish half of it usually, so I save the 2nd half for my afternoon snack) and something with lean protien for dinner. I've lost my sweet tooth and my taste for coffee, so that's been a blessing.

Symptoms to date

Well, here we are in week 6. Symptoms thus far:

• Minor cramping (like a period), alternating sides
• Migraine
• Runny nose/conjestion. Quite a lot, really
• Very very very very tired
• Occasional nausea
• Constipation
• Heartburn
• Dizziness/light headedness

Tomorrow is the first visit to the gynecologist. I am more than slightly nervous about this. I really really want everything to be ok

Positive Test!

Well, the little stick has been confirmed by a blood test and it's a fact - we're pregnant. It still seems unreal, and I'm reluctant to get too excited after the miscarriage.
Blood test results:

Day 15 HCG: 53 Progesterone: 16.3
Day 17 HCG: 27.7 Progesterone: 27.7

Symptoms so far:
Occasional nausea, extreme fatigue, one killer migraine, crampy pain, feeling hot all the time (not helpful given that it's in the 90's outside).

Dr. P has me taking progesterone "just in case."

This puts us at week 4 and counting

Myomectomy

The day after Christmas (just a month after the miscarriage), I have a myomectomy(http://www.myomectomy.net/). When they removed it, it had grown to be over 6 inches in diameter (large grapefruit). A nurse walking by the surgery unit popped in to yell at my doc for doing a c-section outside of labor and delivery - apparently it was so large that she thought it was a baby's head coming out of my abdomen. Forunately, the biopsy came back negative for cancer. If you read up on the internet, they say stuff like "you'll be out for 2-6 weeks" and "there will be some pain" Stuff that everyone should know about this operation (at least, stuff that happened to me - I'm no medical expert):

• You are not allowed to have any ibuprofen, asprin, or naproxen sodium for a week beforehand. This particularly sucked for me because the stupid fibroid started to die (as predicted by gyn #1) and I was utterly miserable. You can take tylenol, but that did not even touch the pain.
• When you wake up, your throat will be sore (from the intubation) and you will be catheterized. Both are unpleasant but will probably be gone the next morning.
  Everyone wants to know when you fart. I have not ever seen so many people both interested and delighted about my ability to pass gas in my life.
• Farting hurts. Ok - that's not entirely accurate. The gas pressure before you fart hurts. A lot. And there will be a lot of gas pressure in you.
• They will not give you any solid food until you fart.
  The only thing that makes nurses happier that knowing that you farted is knowing that you have urinated. Hooray for pee!
• Peeing hurts. Do not push (you will be tempted, just please don't do it - it hurts). Try to relax. Get a book or something. And ask the nurse to step into a different room - they'll forget and try to hang out with you in case you fall over or something.
• They have to measure the amount you pee 3 times, at least, before you leave.
  You will bleed. Not from the incision (at least not from mine) but like you are having a very very very heavy period. I was actually having my period when I went into surgery (oh joy), so it was even heavier than usual.
• You need to take iron supplements and stool softeners. The iron is to build up your blood. The softeners are to make you have NORMAL stools because the iron and the pain meds will make you constipated.
• They will give you a sponge bath the day after your surgery while you sit on the toilet.
• They will get you to walk the day after you surgery.
• How well you handle the pain is dependent on several things: 1) your attitude - if you think it will hurt, it will 2) your health - the heavier you are the more pull you have on that area - if possible, get skinny first. 3)your support system - my husband stayed with me both nights and it made all the difference knowing I could get him to get me an apple juice instead of having to pester the nurses.
• You will have hormone surges like puberty after the surgery. Your face will break out, you will cry for no reason, etc. This will go away (I'm told) after your body adjusts to not having the fibroid. Talk to your doc about taking an antidepressant if it gets bad.
• You will not be allowed to drive for at least 2 weeks.
• You will not be allowed to pick up anything heavier than a glass of milk for 2 weeks. After that, you will not be allowed to pick up anything over 20 lbs for another 2 weeks.
• For the first 1-2 weeks you will not be able to:1) Put on your panties or pants unassisted,2)Wash or dry anything lower than your knees,3)Pick up anything you drop (if it gets past your knees, kiss it goodbye),4)Wipe your butt like you used to (twisting hurts as much as bending over),5)Touch your toes6)Stand for more than a few minutes at a time7) Walk at a normal pace or very far
• When you are at the hospital, they will give you the following fashion items:1) Thigh high support hose - these keep clots from forming in your legs2) Diaper-sized max pad with matching mesh granny panties - hubba hubba3) Leg massagers - like at Sharper Image (very nice) - again for keeping clots from forming4) Socks with gripping strips on the bottoms for your walks
• Laughing, coughing, and sneezing hurt. Hold a pillow tightly to your belly when you do these things - it will help a lot.
• You will feel a burning (highly unpleasant) sensation along some parts of your incision as the nerves grow back together. This is almost as painful as the gas and may be exacerbated by laying on one side or the other.
• YOU WILL NEED SOMEONE TO STAY AT HOME WITH YOU FOR THE FIRST 1-2 WEEKS. No exceptions.
• Stairs suck for at least the first week. Did I mention we live in an upstairs apartment?
• Nurses are exactly as nice to you as you are to them. Be nice to them - they have all the pain meds.
• Some pain meds will make you sleepy, some will make you loopy. Be prepared to be unable to think straight or remember things for 1-2 weeks. Do not plan to work (even from home) until you are off any narcotics they give you (like Vicadin).