And then there were three

We're expecting again - hooray! eek! What were we thinking?!?!
I mean, hooray!

Where'd my toddler go?

A pregnancy "milestone" I hadn't thought about before.

JJ runs up and grabs my knees, saying "Hold ya! Up up up!" this morning and when I look down to pick him up, I can't see him AT ALL. My belly is officially big enough it can obscure a toddler.

Oh my.

Baby or belly?

Strangest thing. Since I've been pregnant, but before I knew, JJ has been pointing at my belly and putting his ear on it like he's listening for something. At first I thought "oh gosh, I've gotten fat enough he's looking at it like another breast", but that's not it. He keeps pointing at it and then smiling and putting his ear to it. Then three of days ago, he does this same thing and says "Baby." Could've knocked me over with a feather! Now, we've talked about the pregnancy in front of him and told him he's going to be a big brother, but I don't really think he understands or has any means of comprehension for such an abstract concept at this point. But here he is saying "baby." Then I thought, maybe he is trying to say "Belly" instead. That would make a lot more sense. Two days ago he did it again, except with John in the room. John's jaw dropped - "Did he just say 'baby'?" So, maybe he did. How would he know?

Cats...

My cat, Paka, seems to have an affinity for my baby belly, even when it's not a proper "belly" yet. When I was pregnant with JJ and now again this time, she insists on sleeping on my belly. When I'm not pregnant, she sleeps on my legs - but not now. It's almost like she "knows" (although my theory is that I'm just awfully warm with all the extra blood volume). There is some evidence to suggest that pets can sense and do react to the pregnancy of thier owner. All the evidence seems anecdotal at best, but that doesn't stop Paka from snuggling up to her latest playmate and purring away. Of all the cats, she's the only one who lets JJ touch her - in fact, she will seek him out and snuggle up to him, rubbing and purring. Best buds...and hopefully she'll be the same way with the new little one.

Not fair...

Morning sickness - or rather, morning, noon, and night sickness - and pounding headaches. Granted, I was having this problem last week too, but last week I could blame it on the weather. Now, I've got another 9 months of this, potentially. Yikes! It is definitely going to be a test of wills finishing this dissertation. A toddler, morning sickness and data collection. Wow.

Poor JJ is starting to get so picky about his food too. And not in any predictable pattern either. One day broccoli is the rage. The next, he doesn't even want it on his plate. The power struggle around that is becoming interesting too. He's always game to try something, but once he decided he doesn't want it, he'll pick it up off the plate and drop it on the floor, one piece at a time. John and I have tried telling him "no" firmly, holding his hand to prevent him from doing it, and just plain removing the offending item and he just looks puzzled. Definitely not sure what we're trying to say. Makes me feel stupid - like if I were just a little smarter I could explain it to him. Oh well - maybe Mommy and Daddy will get smarter once we get some more sleep (insert maniacal laughter here).

SURPRISE!

I've been feeling really off lately - clumsily running into things, getting really snappish with John, horrible runny nose, feeling dizzy when I'm sitting for long period of time, constantly hot, sometimes nauseated....and I thought "allergies, sleep deprivation, period fixin' to start" Oh yeah - shouldn't my period have started like 4 days ago? So, just to be on the safe side, I took a pregnancy test. Given my symptoms, I should've known. It came back 2 lines - that's POSITIVE.

Oh my.

I mean, it's not like I don't know what causes this or that we weren't interested in having another. It's just that last time we had to try so hard and have "help" and all and I sort of thought it would be the same going forward. WRONG! I'm scared to death because I haven't been taking my prenatal vitamin like I should, I've had loads of coffee and tea, and I had a glass of wine last night to celebrate finishing my proposal for my chair. And here I am, in the middle of trying to schedule my proposal defense, with the beginnings of pregnancy brain, and not sure if I should be delighted or hysterical.

I think I will settle for cautiously optimistic.

Strking a blow for pregnant ladies

I hear stories from other ladies about some of the incredibly, unbelievably NASTY things coworkers were saying to them while they were pregnant (asking if they're having twins, making beeping sounds as they back up, etc.). I had shared this with John who was filled with righteous indignation. He got on a tirade of "if I ever hear anyone say anything like that about you or any woman I will (fill in appropriately amusing threat of a southern gentleman here)." Well, today he finally got his chance. One of our coworkers (a really nice guy who apparently left his good sense at the door that day) came up to him with the "I can't believe your wife still has 3 months to go - she looks ready to pop" comment. John explained to this guy, in no uncertain terms, that this was a completely unacceptable thing to say to ANY pregnant woman for ANY reason and that anyone who would say such a thing is showing not only his obviously crude upbringing, but also a gross lack of intelligence. The guy was apparently totally embarassed and went away as quickly as possible while the female coworkers in the area cheered.

Pregnancy Glow Revealed

While it is common knowledge that pregnant women emit an almost supernatural "glow" during gestation, visible to those around them but not to themselves, the effects of this phenomenon remain unstudied. Professor Ima D. Oktor first noted the issue and lack of research in the area during her own pregnancy and has made some remarkable discoveries.

"It first came to my attention when I was about 16 weeks along,just after someone said they saw the glow." said Professor Oktor. "I noticed my staff acting oddly towards me. At first I dismissed it as pregnancy hormones and overreacting, but as I started keeping a journal, I realized that it was real!"

After careful observation and empirical study, the professor was able to pinpoint the symptoms afflicting her staff, including deafness, altered perceptions of her abilities, and an overall glassy-eyed expression. "It was bizarre," she explained, "students who normally listened to my instructions quite clearly, suddenly became incapable of hearing more than 3 words. I had one student actually try to tie my shoes for me!"

Realizing the potential of the scientific breakthrough, she expanded her study to include other pregnant women and their experiences. The results were astounding. "The story was the same everywhere - even health professionals who were trained to listen to pregnant women, were often unable to hear anything the women said and replied to them as if they were children." The Pregnancy Glow Syndrome (PGS) was quickly becoming a well-defined phenomenon.

Professor Oktor's next step was to isolate the cause. After several tries, she came up with the Pregnancy Glow Detector (PGD) - a device that detects and isolates the pregnancy glow. Using the PGD, she was able to definitively show that the "glow" extends in a radius of 10 to 20 feet from a pregnant woman (far further than originally supposed) and entering the Glow Area of Effect (GAE) initiates the symptoms of PGS.

What's next? "Well, " Professor Oktor says " the implications for military applications are immense. Consider a tank cloaked in GAE! The enemy wouldn't be able to hear it and would assume it was harmless and incapable of doing anything." She adds that she hopes to study other pregnancy effects for similar applications, such as Belly Touching Compulsion (BTC), during her next pregnancy.

Week 10: Symptoms and thoughts

Week 10 - Occasional nausea, another migraine (sinus induced), continually runny nose.
Overall, not bad, except the nausea. It usually hits in the afternoon or evening. V. inconvenient. Morning would be much better because it would give me an excuse not to work out ;) Unfortunately, no such luck. Oh - and very tired all the time. Duh.
I took some Sudafed and Tylenol when I got my migraine because both were on this list I had for drugs that are ok. Then I read that maybe that's not ok.
Well, this is me trying not to worry about it, since, let's face it - can't do a thing about it now.
Sigh.

Week 9: Pictures and heartbeat

Got to see the doc today (9 weeks) and saw the little jellybean bouncing around. Good strong heartbeat too. Hooray! Such a relief to know everything is ok for now. Get to go back in 4 weeks for genetic tests and more pics. I like the pics :) We were able to get it recorded on DVD. Amazing.
I've managed to only gain 1 pound, so that's pretty good. I was overweight when I got pregnant, so I know I need to keep my weight gain down to around 15-25lbs (don't want unhealthy conditions for the little jellybean!)

Week 7 and cruisin' along

Here we are at week 7 with no problems so far. The frequent urination is a bit of a pain (up and down all night), sore/tender breasts, and I keep getting a persistent pain, like a running cramp, in my side, but otherwise all is well.
I'm keeping my weight pretty steady right now which is good - since I was overweight before I got pregnant, it's important that I keep my weight gain under control for the health of the baby. I'm not dieting, just watching what I eat carefully: cereal and fruit for breakfast with a glass of milk, salad and soup for lunch (actually, I can only finish half of it usually, so I save the 2nd half for my afternoon snack) and something with lean protien for dinner. I've lost my sweet tooth and my taste for coffee, so that's been a blessing.

First peek at Baby Baker

First appointment today - 6 weeks along. Did a vaginal ultrasound and we saw "the sac" which is good (don't expect to see more than that at this point)
My body is adjusting to the progesterone. Still bloody tired all the time and occasionally a bit constipated, but daily exercise and an increase in fiber intake (read: a bowl of mini wheats in the morning) seems to have taken care of that.
Next I'll bring a writable DVD so I can bring back pics!

Symptoms to date

Well, here we are in week 6. Symptoms thus far:

• Minor cramping (like a period), alternating sides
• Migraine
• Runny nose/conjestion. Quite a lot, really
• Very very very very tired
• Occasional nausea
• Constipation
• Heartburn
• Dizziness/light headedness

Tomorrow is the first visit to the gynecologist. I am more than slightly nervous about this. I really really want everything to be ok

Positive Test!

Well, the little stick has been confirmed by a blood test and it's a fact - we're pregnant. It still seems unreal, and I'm reluctant to get too excited after the miscarriage.
Blood test results:

Day 15 HCG: 53 Progesterone: 16.3
Day 17 HCG: 27.7 Progesterone: 27.7

Symptoms so far:
Occasional nausea, extreme fatigue, one killer migraine, crampy pain, feeling hot all the time (not helpful given that it's in the 90's outside).

Dr. P has me taking progesterone "just in case."

This puts us at week 4 and counting

First pregnancy and miscarriage

Our story quiet mundanely in the office of a local gynecologist.
"Hmmm...looks like you've got a fibroid (http://www.4woman.gov/faq/fibroids.htm)"
"Ok - is that bad or good?"
"It's about 3cm."
"Once again - bad or good?"
"Well, neither, really. We'll just have to keep an eye on it when you get pregnant. Sometimes these things can grow. If it does, it might outgrow it's blood supply and die and that is really uncomfortable."(note to our dear readers - "really uncomfortable" in doctor speak = "incredibly painful" in normal person speak)

10 weeks after getting a positive pregnancy test, back at the gynecologist office.
"How far along did I say you were?"
"10 weeks"
"Uh....can you come in for an ultrasound tomorrow?"
"Sure...WHY?"
"You feel like you're 16-18 weeks"
"What does THAT mean?!?!?"
"Well, it could be the fibroid has grown. Or, more likely, it could be that you've got multiples."
"Multiples? Like twins?"
"Uh, yeah, it could be twins and a fibroid."(holy crap!!)

The next day, at the ultrasound.
"Whoa! That's one big fibroid!"
"And there's just one baby, right?"
"Yep, just one. But look at the size of that thing! It's like 10 cm!"
"But just one baby?"
"Yeah, yeah, and one giant fibroid. That thing is huge! No wonder the doc thought you had multiples."
"Well, that's ok right? I mean, it's not going to hurt the baby is it?"
"The doc will have to talk to you about that."

My water breaks and we have a miscarriage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscarriage).[My water broke the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I went to the emergency room where they told me the amniotic sac had burst beyond repair. Since the baby was only 17 1/2 weeks along, his lungs were not developed enough to be able to survive outside the womb, so, although he was still alive and healthy at that point, we knew he would not be able to live, no matter what we did. They gave me some drugs to induce labor, set me up with an epidural (it took them 4 sticks to get that in - not nice). My gynecologist left to go to Aruba for her Thanksgiving vacation and I was passed through 4 different doctors. I ended up being in labor for 30 hours. They wouldn't let me have anything except crushed ice the whole time in case I had to go into surgery. When I finally delivered, our baby boy had passed away. We were able to hold him and touch him - I have his footprints. He was 8.5 inches long. I didn't even know him, but I miss him so much my heart hurts. ]

2 weeks later, at my new gynecologist's office (I switched to the doctor who delivered my baby - she was the most wonderful lady I ever met, even though the circumstances were grim).
"You're recovery is amazing - I'm so pleased. As soon as you feel up to it, I'd like to get that fibroid out."
"Out? What do you mean "out"?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure it's what caused your miscarriage so, before you try again, I'd like to do a myomectomy."
"Can you do that with one of those little bitty incisions?"
"No, it's too big. Plus, I want to biopsy it, so we'll need to do this abdominally - it's like a C-section."
"Biopsy?? Why?""Well, it grew awfully quick and I just want to make sure..."